So. There is a lot on my mind. school. not making cheer still. getting a job. going to bolivia. And for me it's a lot. You could say this is the hardest thing i have ever had to do. Because to me it feels like it is. and i guess i can't explain how hard it is. for someone anyone else it could be so easy. But hey these are my problems. and they are seriously a living heck for me. I wish there was an easy way to get through this. If i had one wish. I would wish it was August 2008. Trust me. I would live my life a whole lot different. I would cheer harder and love it more. Knowing that i probably wouldn't get to do it again. Hey maybe i could work just a little harder and maybe make it so i would make varsity. I would put on my girl pants and things with me and him would be a whole lot different. My best friend would not be dating a manipulative slut. and we would all be so happy. and life would be PERFECT but life isn't guaranteed to perfect. It is just guaranteed to go on. So all i can do is learn from all these stupid mistakes i have made and move on. its all i can do. Sulking on the mistakes of the past wont help me move on. It will hold me back. And i guess there is a lot to look forward to. So I'm just going to smile and hope everything will be okay.... REALLY SOON.