Pulling Apart the Pieces.

I have been thinking lately what a true friend is.....
and came to the conclusion
That I don't think I have many.
That scares 'me.
Because my "friends" now know so much about me
and I trust them.
But should I really?
Because NO ONE should be trusted.
I have had people turn on me before and I am SO not ready for it to happen again.

Today = Bueno.
I am a random soul.
Well my friends and I got together to exchange late Christmas presents.
One of my friends happened to get me two little fish.
I was stumped on what to name them.
But I came up with names.
You see most normal people would go with names that somewhat make sense for fish like bubbles, scales, flipper, goldie, and so on.
Or other sane people name them after people they know, things they like, or give them a cool name they like.
Well I am not normal or sane.
Because there was no rhyme or rhythm to me picking my fishes names.
I sat there.
Stared into space.
and decided out of the blue to name them Toast and Cat.

But abnormalities make life refreshing right?

2010.
Is going to be a year of change for me.
1. I Graduate High School.
2. I Start College.
I never expected to grow up.
But I am and it's quite strange.
Especially because all kinds of choices are being thrown my way and I don't know how to choose.
I wish that I could stay a kid forever.

1. What are your initials? D.S.A
2. What is your favorite thing to wear? Sweatpants and a T-shirt.
3. Last thing you ate? Walnuts and Chocolate Milk.
4. One place you will NEVER eat at? McDonald's
5. I say Shotgun, you say: Bad.
6. Last person you hugged? Alex.
7. Does anyone you know wanna date you? Not that I know of.
8. Would you date someone in a different country? No. Unless I was planning on moving there. I am against long distance relationships.
9. Name something you like physically about yourself: My Eyes
10. The last place you went out to dinner to? Bajio
11. Who is your best friend? Kelsey
12. What time of the day is it? Night.
13. Who/What made you angry today? My Cousins
14. Baseball or Football? Football!
15. Ever gone skinny dipping? Nope! But I want to!
16. Favorite type of Food? Dessert
17. Favorite holiday: Christmas
18. Do you download music: YES, all the time.
19. Do you care if your socks are dirty? Yes. I like being clean.
20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos? I think tattoos are gross.
21. Would you date your best friend? No. She is a girl, and I am not Lesbian.
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? Yes. I'm Yours by Jason Mraz.
23. Do you love anyone? Yes more people than i can count.
24. Are colored contact lenses sexy? No. I like natural.
25. Have you ever bungee jumped? NO! I want to go!
26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting? YES!!!
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?Yes.
28. How many pets do you have? 2. A dog, and a bunny!
29. Have you met a real redneck? why yes, yes i have
30. How is the weather right now?COLD, Snowy.
31. What are you listening to right now? Quiero Estar Contigo- Los Verduleros
32. What is your current favorite song? Hablame de Ti- El Aspirante
33. What was the last movie you watched? How the Grinch stole christmas!
34. Do you wear contacts? Nope
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house? My Uncles
36. What are you afraid of? Spiders, The Dark, Earthquakes, rotten food, blood, serial killers, bugs, monsters, animals with big teeth.
37. How many piercings have you had? My Ears. so 2, one on each ear!
38. What piercings do you want? NO MORE!
39. What's one thing you've learned this year? That I need to accept everyone as how they are and not try and change them.
40. What do you usually order from Starbucks? I don't drink coffee.
41. What Magazines are you reading? The New Era
42. Have you ever fired a gun: A laser gun.
43. Are you missing someone? YES!
44. Favorite TV show? GREEK
45. Do you have an obession with Taylor Lautner? Yes
46. Has anyone ever said that you are hot? Yes!
47. What celeb do you look like? None.
48. Who would you like to see right now? A cute boy! or a good chick flick!
49. Favorite movie of all time? Peter Pan
50. Do you find yourself loved? YES
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to? Many times
52. Favorite smell? Vanilla
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? Butter
54. Ever been in a relationship? Yes!
55. Ever been in a cop car in real life? NO!
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently? NO, like 5 years ago.
57. Lady Gaga or Kanye? Lady Gaga
58. What's something that really bugs you? When People smell bad
59. Do you like Michael Jackson? Not really
60. Taco Bell or Burger King?Taco Bell
61. What's your favorite perfume? Warm Vanilla Sugar
62. Favorite flavor of gum? Watermelon
63. Ever go to the amazons? Yes!
64. Chocolate or Cinamon? Cinnamon
65. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep? 49 hours
66. Last time you went bowling? A year ago
67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept? Standing up in math class
68. Who was your last phone call?My Best Friend Kelsey
69. Last time you were at school? A week ago
70. What's the closest orange object to you? On the road by Jack kerouac

Do you ever want the people who have hurt you to feel the pain that you have felt?
I do.
I am quite spiteful.
I don't like feeling that I have lost a battle.
I would never wish harm on anyone ever.
But I can help but harm finds its way to those who have hurt me.

I am half of a whole.
You see.
I am of 2 cultures.
Bolivian & American.
It is a constant battle between these two.
Which one am I more of?
I mean I love being American and living in the USA.
But I love everything about Bolivia.
I love the family unity and food and culture.

I want to live there someday.

Have you ever felt like you just have to cry?
I have.
and what sucks about this need to cry,
is that it happens at the most inconvenient times.
I was sitting at school yesterday and I burst into tears.
I guess I still have a bruise left from where I fell.
You see.
My dream school was the University of Chicago.
But I didn't get in.
and it hurt.
I know that there are others schools that are recruiting me,
but I wanted That school.
I will get over it.
Eventually.
It bruised my ego though
and I just don't know how not to let it hurt.
Until then,
I'm just going to keep on smiling.

We are not defined
by our failures,
but how well we
rise
after
f
a
l
l
i
n
g

I have fallen a lot lately.
On Ice.
and have not gotten what I have dreamed of.
But I'm doing okay.
My Advice is: Smile. It makes everything better.
I Pinky Promise.